Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
