that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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