She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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