I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
