guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
