We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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