hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize