forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
