The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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