We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
