do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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