Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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