Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
