It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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