he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize