So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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