Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
