So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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