Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
