I love black thongs
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
