she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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