just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
