Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
