I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize