we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
