I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
