She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
