Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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