Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
