We're facebook friends in real life
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
