How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
