Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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