That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
