lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
