he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
they need to just BURY HIM!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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