We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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