Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize