Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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