Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
