You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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