no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
