I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
you never un-have a 4some
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
