I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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