best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
