When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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