worst night to have a conscience
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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