thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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