420 ftw
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
