Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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