when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
