so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
