just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize