so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
