when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
