I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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