I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
