STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
