Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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